Klink, My Fink
by booey875
Summary: How does the camp react when Hogan is romantically linked to Klink? My first foray into poetry. Warning: Slash (Hogan/Klink) Written for Short Story Speedwriting Challenge 2019


Thank You to Missy the Least for proofreading !

.

Klink, My Fink

By

booey875

.

Kommandant, you need to learn

To be discreet

Although I know

That will be quite a feat

.

You started to touch me

Your hand stopped in midair

When you noticed

Schultz standing there

.

All Schultz would say

Is that he saw nothing

If I had a dollar for every time

He said that I'd be King

.

You threatened

To send him to the Russian Front

Pssst I don't think that

Is what Schultz does want

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

You tried to kiss me in the mess hall

When no one was looking

But the problem, sir

Is LeBeau – he was cooking

.

He ran to tell Newkirk

Who cried out in pain,

He couldn't believe

I would be with someone so vain

.

Newkirk told Kinch

As well as Baker, too

They can be trusted to keep

Our secret, it's true

.

Innocent Carter was told last

And that wasn't fair

(Good, he's beginning our diversion)

"Hey Kommandant, what's happening over there?"

.

Does Olsen know? I'm not sure

Though he's not that dim

(He's not in camp right now

For me to ask him.)

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

The boys in Barracks Five are a fine bunch

They may have heard

You surely know those guys,

They said you look like a bald bird

.

The guys in Barracks Seven saw us

They were told to keep secret

After one of them

Said "They are in cahoots! Eureka!"

.

Barracks Six gentlemen don't seem to know

That Barracks chief is such a joker

I asked him if they suspected

He says all they care about is poker

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

Don't blab to Hochstetter

He'll just be mean

Aren't you lucky

You and him are on same team?

.

Hochstetter would rant and say "Bah!"

And claim I'm Papa Bear

Kommandant, you know I'm just a prisoner

That's not really fair

.

So Burkhalter walked in

As our lips did connect

Well, let's face it

No day's perfect

.

The General rolled his eyes

As he walked out

Don't you think

He's suffering from gout?

.

You said to me

"Hogan, I'm in a pickle!

I don't want to battle

hammer and a sickle!"

.

I needed to let my lover

Out of his latest jam

So I came up with

Another clever plan

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

I didn't get to tell Helga

I didn't have the time

Even though I wanted to confess

It's going to be fine

.

Hilda was offended

She doesn't understand

Why I decided on you

To be my main man

.

She let out a grunt

So she considers it shocking

And now all she cares about

Are those damn stockings

.

Marya came a visiting

She said I'm under a spell

Don't we both think

That's she's not well?

.

This time Marya's plan

Was too stupid to try

Afterwards all I needed

Was a good cry

.

Crittendon of all people said

_I_ shouldn't be so foolish

To be involved with

Someone so ghoulish

.

So in actuality

He's not really a Colonel

I found that out

Reading his journal

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

I needed to confess to Tiger

She was in such a rage

I couldn't believe she and I

Weren't on the same page

.

Then there's Lily

You know, our friend the singer

I can't make it up to her

No matter what flowers I bring her

.

Dr. Lechay is one intelligent lady

That I thought I knew

When she found out,

She said "Oh non! Not you!"

.

When Baroness von Krimm found out,

She started crying

But she was Gestapo

So she wanted me dying

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

Your companionship

Couldn't find a more appropriate buyer

Look, won't I be better

Than lovely Gertrude Linkmeyer?

.

My love through the years

Will be timeless and true

Once you have it,

You never lose it, do you?

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?

.

I have love

For you so bad

You're the best enemy

A man ever had

.

Please keep it quiet

Kommandant, of mine

From info going further

Down the grapevine

.

Oh Great, London is calling

They already know

The problem for me is

My love does really show

.

London has another mission

It's not going to plan

I could really use

Help from you, my main man

.

I go to your quarters

To see my Iron Eagle

My problem is instead of finding secrets,

You and I do something illegal

.

Down at Stalag 13

Everyone does talk

After hearing things about us

That make them gawk

.

My dear Colonel Klink,

You're a fink

But you still make

My cheeks turn pink

.

Yes, I know

It's a crime

Ain't it great

I'm already doing time?


End file.
